The Annual “War on Christmas” Christmas Special—Brought To You by Fox
Another Christmas has come and gone and Fox’s Annual “War on Christmas” Christmas Special met its annual defeat. Regardless of that defeat, you can rest assured it will be back next year for another episode. In reality, the only people waging war against Christmas are the ones on Fox that rant about this ridiculous alleged war on Christmas. The war they are waging is a war against the way most of us celebrate Christmas because it is not the way THEY feel we should celebrate. In the Fox world, they claim nobody wants to see a nativity scene with the little baby Jesus anywhere outside of church or private property. Although there are still a ton of places to see the costumed doll replicas of the little baby Jesus, Fox apparently has never bothered to find out where any of them are, otherwise it wouldn’t be a “war”, would it?
While company or school district policies may instruct employees to wish “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” off-work these same employees can wish whatever they want to whomever they want to. What it comes down to is that Fox and the Far Right are the only ones waging a War on Christmas. Fox tends to always start that war AT Christmas, not just because it is Christmas time, but because TV viewership is down across the board. People are out or online shopping for gifts and groceries for holiday meals, making holiday gifts, and just doing what many people do during the holidays. This is the reason all major TV shows have what is now called their mid-season finales (that would be a whole other column) BEFORE Thanksgiving and stay in reruns until after the first of the year or into Spring. Fox on the other hand, still has hungry, high-paid celebrity mouths to feed during the holiday season, they have to draw in the viewers to watch their TV commercials. That is why we get the annual War on Christmas, brought to us by these fine sponsors. I would personally boycott them if I knew who they were, but I never watch Fox so I don’t. Ignorance is bliss.
Despite the phony, ratings-based Fox War on Christmas everyone who wanted to celebrate Christmas in their own way—did. Crèches were in abundance, “Merry Christmas” was uttered on 100s of millions of lips, and the Secret Police arrested no one for violating the United States secular holiday celebratory protocols. In fact, President and Michelle Obama in their Christmas Day radio address wished all Americans both “Happy Holidays” and “Merry Christmas”, thereby covering all religious—and non-religious bases. (Press Secretary, 2013)
Seems to me that if Fox wants to pick the attackers in the War on Christmas, why don’t they take on all the retail stores and restaurants who force their employees to work on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Nothing says War on Christmas like depriving your employees of actually celebrating the holiday with their family and friends. Many of these companies pursue The War on Christmas only because the War on Thanksgiving was an unqualified success. The problem here is that too many of the employers waging a War on Christmas also advertise on Fox. It can’t even really be considered a war even though those companies make their employees wish customers “Happy Holidays” and there’s not a little baby Jesus in sight. War is business and Fox has never met a corporate business that exploits its employees it didn’t like—a lot. To Fox, if the Left is doing it, it’s a war. If corporations do it, it’s business.
Of course, if Fox wanted to report on a real war, there are several to choose from: the war on women, the war on voting rights, the war on minorities, the war on gays, the war on the poor, the war on workers, the war on public schools, wars all in all being waged by the…GOP, who are among the fine but unnamed sponsors of Fox. You’ll never hear of any of those real wars on Fox. Wars in which women’s lives were lost because they were denied legal abortions or the poor being denied health care, federal cash, and food stamps. You will also never hear of those stripped of protections under the law that protect citizens from being harassed or even murdered by racists and bigots; or about the lives being destroyed by workers being forced to work for less than a living wage and their careers being shipped overseas being replaced with low wage jobs with no benefits. They deny school children decent educations making US test scores for school children the lowest ranking in the world. Corporations have been able to rob people of their investments and life savings without a single CEO or high-ranking executive who were responsible being punished for their actions. These CEOs made billions off other people’s financial losses and put it into the hands of those who caused the crisis in the first place. But these are not the wars Fox wants you to hear about.
Those wars make Fox viewers uneasy because they don’t or can’t understand what’s going on and how they’re personally being victimized. However, they can all understand Gretchen Carlson claiming she and her little children can’t see the little baby Jesus from her car in the Florida State Capitol Rotunda because a Festivus pole made from beer cans was standing in its way. Carlson made these claims despite the real reason Carlson couldn’t see that little baby Jesus from her car was because it was an indoor display, and she lives in Connecticut and works in New York.
The Fox War on Christmas (hope Fox didn’t trademark that phrase) is actually a War on Logic. If there were actually an annual war on Christmas, the drones would be filling the skies as they set off for their target crèches and Christmas tree lots. Uniformed soldiers would be breaking into houses with Merry Christmas written on windows or in lights. Employees would be handcuffed and frog marched off to secret prisons where they water board “Merry Christmas” wishers forcing them to watch “Life of Brian” 24/7 with their eyes kept perpetually open with clamps and steel hooks…things.
Fox and the Far Right know that there’s no war on Christmas. They fill their viewers with fear and in effect imprison them in their own homes watching Fox 24/7 perhaps causing some of them to actually miss Christmas. Wonder if Gretchen Carlson would ever drive her kids around to see THAT?
Press Secretary. (2013, December 25). Weekly Address: The President and First Lady Wish Everyone a Happy Holiday Season. Retrieved from the White House: http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/12/25/weekly-address-president-and-first-lady-wish-everyone-happy-holiday-seas