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Black and Tan Fantasies

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Tan suit

Tan suit

It’s quite interesting and hardly surprising. It is now comically apparent that there are no depths which the loony right wing won’t sink to in order to defame this president. What they lack in intellect they more than make up for in sheer gall. I’m referring to what I’ll call “Tan Gate”.  You would have thought that the president had goose-stepped into the White House press room donning an SS uniform with a swastika arm band. But it wasn’t just the extremists who joined in the fun. Some “serious” journalists had to make a stand, like the reporter from Time Magazine (I’ll be merciful and omit his name) who tweeted, “I’m not sure that tan suits him”. Remember, this was at a session where Obama was briefing the press on a major crisis occurring in the Middle East. The whole affair was touchingly infantile.

I’ve done a smidgeon of research this morning and I’ve been able to find images of every president going all the way back to Franklin Roosevelt dressed to the nines in tan. Apparently Herbert Hoover never wore one – but J. Edgar did – often. As did their sainted Ronald Reagan. Tan wasn’t in vogue when Abraham Lincoln was living in the Executive Mansion, but I think that tan would have suited him quite well had that been the case. I guess there must be something ominously threatening about a black guy in tan. We should commission an expert in human behavior to look into all of this.

pbo This reminds me of all of the fuss that has been made over Barack Obama’s use of the teleprompter. Forget the fact that every president since Eisenhower has used them; ignore the ample evidence that Reagan would have been rendered mute without them; Obama seems to be the only president in the history of this diseased country that has abused his teleprompter privileges. It’s time to impeach the son-of-a-bitch. Maybe it’s a blessing for Obama that comedian-turned-fashion-critic, Joan Rivers, didn’t live to see this assault on the good people of this wardrobe-conscious nation. She most certainly have put that uppity commie bastard in his place.But seriously, folks….Did you ever get the feeling that you were living in a really dark satirical novel? That’s sort of the way I’m feeling this morning. Life is beautiful.jfk

FUN FACT: When Theodore Roosevelt and his Rough Riders charged up San Juan Hill in 1898, their uniform was roughly the same color of the suit Barack Obama is being criticized for wearing today. Ain’t that a hoot?

The historians of a century from now are gonna have a blast looking into the utter stupidity that this president found himself up against during his two terms of office. At the time (and this may shock some people) not a word of criticism was made about it – nary a freakin’ peep! So what, I ask you, is the big deal here? Why were so many people outraged? Where are their priorities? What the hell is the matter with them? Does anyone have an idea?

If anyone reading this has access to the Obama White House I’ve got a dandy idea. Since he is going to send these freaks into spastic apoplexy no matter what he does, no matter what he says – no matter what he wears – at the next press briefing have the prez come out wearing the gaudiest, powder-blue leisure suit he can find – with bell-bottoms and a collar so wide that the tips of it reach to his shoulder blades. I mean, if these people are going to get angry anyway, give the assholes something to get angry about!

trFOR THE RECORD: I have three suits. One of them is tan. I’m a good American. HONEST I AM!

Some day Barack Obama is going to sit down and write the memoirs of his eight-year stint as president of the United States. When that day comes I have a great subtitle for the book: “Damned if I Did, Damned if I Didn’t”. This poor guy never had a “loyal opposition” with an honest disagreement with his policies and programs. Since the day he took the oath of office on January 20, 2009, he has had to contend with a confederacy of dunces and lunatics, hellbent on sabotaging his every move regardless of the national well being.

There’s something seriously wrong with this picture.

Tom Degan

Tom Degan

TOM DEGAN is a fifty-four year old malcontent from the Western Hemisphere.

He was born in Goshen, NY in 1958 and, after living all over the United States and Canada, moved back there in 1992. He is a high school dropout who in 1977 received an equivalency diploma (HEY, IT'S LEGAL!) He attended SUNY in Middletown, NY and in 1986 studied journalism at the New School in New York City. He is the recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has worked as a truck driver, a radio DJ, and a metal worker.

OK, he didn't ACTUALLY receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but he DID get some kind of ribbon of sorts when he was in the Cub Scouts.

He is the inventor of Cheez Whiz and lives off the royalties on the sales of that fine product. He loves children and little baby duckies.

FULL DISCLOSURE: He didn't really invent Cheez Whiz.

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“And I saw a beast rising up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his horns ten crowns, and on his heads a blasphemous name.” Revelation 13:1-3.

And the beast called itself GOP and written upon its seven heads are: Avarice, Cowardice, Entitlement, Homophobia, Ignorance, Misogyny, and Racism. And the meek shall cry out in agony. And the beast shall be slain by the Lamb, in their name. And the beast's name shall be erased from the minds of men forever.

Amen