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Revisionism Cheney Style

The Demon Cheney

The Demon Cheney

“Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many.” –Sickie Dickie and Dizzy Miss Lizzie

It must be a difficult thing being Dick Cheney. Think about it: He must know that he will be remembered down though the ages as (next to J. Edgar Hoover) the most disgusting, reprehensible fool to ever accept a paycheck from the government. In fact, the comparison to Hoover is perhaps a bit unfair. For all of Edgar’sfaults, he and his boyfriend, Clyde Tolson, ran a  pretty efficient ship over there at the FBI. When all the dust is settled, historians will have no problem identifying a few positive contributions from Hoover’s reign of paranoia. Not so with Dick Cheney. He knows this and it’s driving him to some sort of a psychotic breakdown. So desperate is the silly old sociopath to rewrite history that he seems to have gone even further over the edge than previously. I’m getting such a kick out of watching this. I really am!

There’s a special place in the halls of Shame and Infamy for the likes of Dick and Liz (not to be confused with Burton and Taylor). There might even be a custom-made place in the pit of hell. But who am I to judge – sinner that I am. The pair of them must be, at the very least, smart enough to understand that Daddy Dick won’t possibly be able to escape the ultimate wrath of future historians. There is nothing that can humanly be done to alter all of the nasty facts – particularly this one:

Dick & Daughter

Dick & Daughter

Invading the sovereign nation of Iraq in March 2003 was – beyond the malnourished shadow of a molecule of doubt – the STUPIDEST military blunder in American history. Vietnam doesn’t come close to comparing to it. That conflict evolved, over a period of years, into an untenable quagmire. In Iraq we jumped – headfirst and smiling – into the catastrophe. To make matters all-the-more pathetic, we jumped in with a shit-eating grin on our clueless national face. “Bring ’em on!” said the half-witted president. It backfired. Operation Iraqi “Freedom” is America’s ultimate tragicomedy.

‘Twas all about an ocean of oil
Flowin’ ‘neath the Iraqi soil.

Bush or Chimp AKA The Fool

Bush or Chimp AKA The Fool

There is a lot of blame to be shared for the utter implosion that is now occurring in the birthplace of civilization. What happened would not have been possible without more-than-a-few cowardly and enabling Democrats – chief among them Hillary Clinton. I’ll probably be supporting her if the Dems are stupid enough to hand her the nomination, but I’ll be holding my nose during the entire process. She could have done the right thing and stood up to the warmongers and plutocrats who were just itching to do some economic plundering in a land that contained some of the largest oil reserves on this troubled planet. She didn’t. She just had to prove – for the basest, most transparent political reasons – that she was as much of a warrior as any man. I’m praying that Elizabeth Warren changes her mind and throws her hat into the ring. Wishful thinking, I know.

Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton

But to blame the tragedy that is now transpiring in Iraq (as Dick and Liz are doing) on President Barack Obama is beyond ludicrous. That country’s disintegration was predicted a long time ago by people who knew what the they were talking about. When Obama made his run for the White House six years ago, he promised to do exactly what he did, which was to get American forces out of there. Iraq is broken. The Bush administration broke it irreparably. We have no other choice than to live with our electoral stupidity. It was obvious to anyone paying a smidgeon of attention during the campaign of 2000 that George W. Bush had the IQ of a half-eaten box of MilkDuds. At the time people were saying that they voted for the hideous little thug because they would prefer to have a beer with him than the smarty-pants, policy wonk, Al Gore. We got what we deserved. Deal with it as best you can.

“Remember when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” –George W. Bush

Won’t you come home George Orwell? Won’t you come home?

I’ll say this for Bush: his reticence since leaving the White House five-and-a-half years ago has been admirable. Quite possibly he is ashamed of himself and his participation in what is, without a doubt, the most reckless and incompetent administration in the history of human mediocrity – which would be perfectly understandable. Dick Cheney, on the other hand, is without a tenth-of-an-ounce of shame. In fact, it is my opinion that the man is a textbook sociopath. Whatever his psychological profile might be, it’s obvious that we’ll have to live with him until the disgusting old freak drops dead – which is fine ‘n’ dandy by me. Let’s face it; the guy is so much fun to watch! Cheney and Cheney are the greatest unintentional comedy team in the annals of American humor.

What a Dick with Liz

What a Dick with Liz

Dick Cheney may try to run from history, but he can’t hide from it. It staggers the soul to think that he believes he’ll be able to do just that. Is he in complete denial – or is it merely gargantuan arrogance? That subject would make a good college thesis for a psych major.

Tom Degan
Goshen, NY

Tom Degan

Tom Degan

TOM DEGAN is a fifty-four year old malcontent from the Western Hemisphere.

He was born in Goshen, NY in 1958 and, after living all over the United States and Canada, moved back there in 1992. He is a high school dropout who in 1977 received an equivalency diploma (HEY, IT'S LEGAL!) He attended SUNY in Middletown, NY and in 1986 studied journalism at the New School in New York City. He is the recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has worked as a truck driver, a radio DJ, and a metal worker.

OK, he didn't ACTUALLY receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, but he DID get some kind of ribbon of sorts when he was in the Cub Scouts.

He is the inventor of Cheez Whiz and lives off the royalties on the sales of that fine product. He loves children and little baby duckies.

FULL DISCLOSURE: He didn't really invent Cheez Whiz.

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“And I saw a beast rising up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns, and on his horns ten crowns, and on his heads a blasphemous name.” Revelation 13:1-3.

And the beast called itself GOP and written upon its seven heads are: Avarice, Cowardice, Entitlement, Homophobia, Ignorance, Misogyny, and Racism. And the meek shall cry out in agony. And the beast shall be slain by the Lamb, in their name. And the beast's name shall be erased from the minds of men forever.